


Accommodations

by legendarytobes



Series: Trixie the Antichrist, Princess of Hell [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Antichrist, Crack Fic, Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, Family, Fluff, Kid Fic, antichrist fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendarytobes/pseuds/legendarytobes
Summary: Lucifer calls on an old flame to help protect his family, and he and Chloe interview Trixie's potential nanny, just your run-of-the-mill werewolf.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Trixie Espinoza, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, John Decker & Chloe Decker, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Trixie the Antichrist, Princess of Hell [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809595
Comments: 45
Kudos: 148





	Accommodations

**Accommodations**

Chloe found herself thinking that she could get used to this. It was such an odd thought. It had been barely ten days since she’d re-met Lucifer and realized exactly what kind of impossible, insane, and intense paranormal life she’d been thrust into, but she was beginning to enjoy parts of it. Granted, she was terrified most of the time. Not of Lucifer, of course, and that should have made her more nervous. He was the Devil after all, but she felt as easy and comfortable with him as they sat down in the four-star restaurant in the heart of Shanghai as she had that night in Rome.

He didn’t seem any different, well, minus the occasional red eyes and the fact she’d seen his very gorgeous-still-not-worth-religious-fervor wings.

Lucifer still exuded all his _Luciferness_ , a mix of prim dedication to his wardrobe and the fashion of his home, a wry and often inappropriate sense of humor, and a thoughtful kindness that always took her by surprise. For all his bouts of self-centeredness and arguments so far with her dad about what befitted a king and, by extension, a princess, Lucifer always noticed the little things.

It was weird, but he already was the one who took it upon himself to fix her non-caffeinated tea in the mornings, who knew without being told that she only took honey and a dollop of milk in it. It was, again, not how even an atheist like herself would have thought of the Devil, and after their first real fight, Chloe was beginning to understand that all her assumptions about the supernatural world---the few she’d made---might not actually apply to the circles Lucifer actually moved in.

She hoped so.

After all, Chloe was still nervous about meeting an actual werewolf. Rationally, she knew that the potential nanny couldn’t be one who hurt or, ugh, _ate_ humans. Trixie and Lucifer might be devilish and invulnerable, but she and her dad sure weren’t. But this was her life. Almost ten months ago, she was having a wild time in Rome, something that was supposed to be one of _those_ stories to look back on in her old age. Oh, and she’d been doing her usual convention circuit too. Now? Well, currently she was sitting with her daughter the antichrist with her baby daddy the Devil (oh man that sounded so bad even in her head) to meet the potential werewolf nanny.

If she wasn’t pretty sure this was all real, Chloe would think she’d either cracked and was in a mental hospital by now or, more likely, had ended up on some weird LSD trip and hadn’t come down yet.

But this certainly felt real. The soft breathing of their daughter in her arms, and Lucifer with his hand under the table and delicately resting his palm on the tip of Chloe’s knee. Occasionally, he patted it, but for all his bravado in Rome and double entendres around the house that only served to rankle her father, Lucifer was completely platonic with her. He’d promised the stripping was a reaction to Trixie’s spit up---and, honestly, with the way he’d pouted since about the loss of his shoes, she believed him---and he was trying to be as reassuring as a parent and partner as he could be.

Chloe needed that. Her life was too topsy-turvy right now. She had a child after being terrifyingly ill for months. She had a _prophecy_ child on top of that with incredibly unique needs, and she was on the run. As much as she enjoyed Lucifer as a person (term used perhaps a bit loosely) and as a partner in this crazy adventure with Trixie, she was fucking out of spoons. Currently, it took every bit of her rational brain to get her to sit still and at least hear the _werewolf_ nanny out.

Lucifer, as he always seemed to do, pinpointed on her anxiety. “Love, she won’t harm you. Most werewolves live and move amongst human society and can do that by swearing off hunting mortals. You’re safe as houses. Althea knows all the community here, and she would never steer me wrong.”

Chloe sighed and offered him the best smile she could, although she was sure it was frozen on her face. It felt like it didn’t fit currently. “I know, but it’s…werewolf movies I _have made_. Usually there’s a lot of claws and fighting and I dunno…it’s hard to let all the stuff I do know from the dumb B-list of horror I’ve made go.”

Lucifer’s own smile fell from his face. She was afraid that even with their détente he was still convinced she only tolerated him because Trixie couldn’t survive without him and his protection. That wasn’t true, but she wasn’t sure how exactly to get that through to Lucifer except to keep being there for him and working with him to keep their daughter happy and safe.

“Yes, quite. Well, I’ve been told that Della is excellent, and she already provided me with past references who were effusive about her and impressive in their own right.”

Chloe kissed the top of Trixie’s head. So far, their daughter was very good out and about. Her dad said that the first months were easiest since babies slept so much. He cautioned her not to get too excited, by the time Chloe herself could crawl, apparently, she’d been fascinated by electrical sockets. Nothing bad had happened, but infants always found ways to get into trouble once they were mobile. It made Chloe feel better that Trixie was invulnerable. It was a hard enough parenting curve without the worries of risk for Trixie from every day hazards. The thought that God’s finest warriors hunting for her little monkey with weapons that even terrified Lucifer was overwhelming as, well, Hell.

“So,” she said, trying to keep the focus on their current errand. She’d worry about angels later and probably often. “Who else did Della sit for?”

Lucifer smirked at her, preening a bit now that she was at least partially entertaining his choice, Chloe was sure. “Well, she obviously was working with a prominent Aswang family in Manila. That was how Althea heard of her, but she’s also helped care for and raise a gargoyle child in Nice, France, and back in the colonies---”

“States now and you’re _not_ British.”

He winked. “Still fun. However, darling, she worked with, of all odd things, a therian family of cats.”

“I don’t know what that means?”

“Were-panthers. She raised the kittens for a family outside of Atlanta till the children hit secondary school.”

“Wait, but cats and dogs---”

“Yes, well, apparently Della is the best that Althea knows, so she can even overcome that most ancient of feuds.”

Chloe sighed and passed Trixie to Lucifer, who lit up like a Christmas tree. She wasn’t sure what he was like in Hell, although if his aborted story about fish that swam up the urethra (she’d Googled after) and serial killers were any indication, his job had been brutal both to do and in how it affected the human souls serving punishment. Here, though, she saw both such a big nerd, who ate up her stories about her time filming the Vampire Queen reboot films in the recesses of Romania like the most interesting thing he’d ever heard, _and_ an overwhelmed new father who clearly thought Trixie could do no wrong.

Good that he was holding the baby now. Chloe needed a minute and free hands to guzzle some water. And, okay, maybe a little calm her nerves.

“Okay, so werewolves, gargoyles, and werecats, all real. Check.”

“Yes, well, many things are. Unicorns have grown extinct. Overhunting in the middle ages, so any saved remnants like horns are quite valuable on the open markets. Actual vampires, I regret to say, never existed. I suppose zombies do after a fashion but more as an artifact of the spells and powers of Voodoo priests. Do _not_ get me started on the abominable Papa Midnite and his schemes, bloody inconvenient. But things that naturally shuffle and groan like a bad movie, no. Most things that die, stay dead.”

She blinked back at him as he cooed a bit at Trixie. Chloe guzzled down half her water. Was it getting warm in the restaurant?

Lucifer looked up from, as he liked to call it, their little bundle of infernal joy and frowned at her. “Wait, did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you,” she said, avoiding the end of that cliché. “I just…I didn’t know werewolves were real until yesterday, and now I’m adding panther people and gargoyles to the pile. Oh and zombies.”

“But only if they’re summoned servants. A lot of rules with those moldering corpses. Quite the migraine, I assure you.”

Chloe gaped at him as if he’d spread out his wings then and there. “I…this is a lot. Every time I think I’ve got handle on ‘oh there can’t be _that_ many things out there,’ then it’s like gargoyles. I mean, it never seems to end. You know?”

Lucifer offered her a kind smile. “Understandable. It’s a bit more difficult to be surprised by anything, really, when you were there from almost the beginning of Creation, itself. I know all the things that fill the multiverse. I simply have not bothered myself with all of it. I…trust that for the most part the paranormal leaves humans alone. It’s easier that way for all of us. Also trust that only fools cross the Devil himself. To put a fine point on it, I might not kill humans who attempt to betray me, but I’ve the resources to call in more than enough favors to make those who dare welch on me---human and not alike---regret they’ve done it.”

She frowned. “So, is this like being paired up with the ultimate Godfather?”

“In its way but, Chloe, I would never even entertain speaking with any nanny who’d harm a human. You mean far too much to me, and I’d never allow injury or pain to come to Penelope’s mother or, one supposes, to John either.”

“Dad, um, likes you.”

Lucifer snorted. “Don’t lie to the Devil, love; I always know the difference. Your father clearly loathes me, but that’s still a better relationship than I have with my own father. The Bible is full of rumors and lies, but it got that much right. John and I do _not_ get along and have yet to find much common ground at all.”

“No, I’m sure it’ll get easier. Dad’s even more confused than I am and---” She was stopped then from trying to salvage things between her father and baby daddy (there need to be a better term for that, really) by the approach of a curvy, middle-aged woman decked out in a pair of leggings and a flowery silk blouse. Her hair was blonde and curled, while her eyes were a bright blue and had a few hints of laugh lines at their edges.

It was not how Chloe would have assumed a werewolf looked.

Hollywood was clearly full of shit. Wouldn’t be the first time.

She stood since Lucifer couldn’t with Trixie and held out her hand. “Chloe Decker.”

“Della Montgomery,” the woman said, and her American Southern accent was prominent and syrupy. How in the world had she gotten as far as China? “And don’t get up on my account, Lucifer Morningstar. If the little princess is sleeping, just let her continue.”

He nodded. “Forgive my rudeness, dear.”

Della sat down and they waited long enough for her to order a Coke from the waiter before regarding them both. “No problem at all. Let sleeping dogs and babies lie, you know?”

Chloe frowned. “I…hi?”

Della chuckled. “I know you, well I don’t know you-know you, but I’ve seen those _Silver Moon_ flicks you did. They’re hysterical!”

“Well, they were meant to be horror movies and---”

“Oh, they got about everything wrong, but you’re a good actress.” Della shook her head and winked at Lucifer. “I can see why you chose her. She’s beautiful!”

“What I…” Chloe sputtered.

Lucifer’s posture tensed even as he rocked Trixie a little. “I didn’t. I mean, I was rather charmed and delighted she went out with me the one time, but Penelope here seems to be a rather abstract plan and prophecy of Dad’s. I’ve no idea what the final intentions of all this are. I am merely as along for the ride as my dear Vampire Queen.”

Chloe blushed. “It’s weird to get recognized by even supernatural, um, people for my horror stuff and action flicks. You all probably think they’re terrible.”

“They’re amusing, honey pie,” Della said, her accent so thick that for a minute Chloe had to concentrate to catch up with it.

“I…where are you from?” Chloe asked.

“Originally, near the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. Currently here. I go where the best au pair is needed.”

Lucifer grinned at that. “So, we’ve heard. You’ve come highly recommended. Tell me, darling, how did you get started in such a specific line of work?”

Della laughed, and Chloe found herself actually liking the other woman. She seemed so bubbly and happy. It might be nice to have that around Trixie. The odds that it would be easy for their little girl to make friends weren’t necessarily great. Her little monkey did need all the loving family she could get.

“Werewolves come in litters. I was the oldest by four minutes of four. I got a lot of experience just being the one who by middle school was looking after all her younger brothers. Then, I dunno, I didn’t take much to college. I dropped out, heard on the grapevine that a business friend of my papa’s needed a sitter, and next thing I knew I was up to my ears in kittens!”

Chloe chuckled at that, imagining baby panthers crawling all over Della. “And you’ve done other, uh…wait help me out here. Is species okay? Is that offensive?”

Della snickered a little and eyed Lucifer. “She’s very new, isn’t she? How delightfully PC of her. It’s fine,” she said, turning her attention back to Chloe. “You can ask. I’ve helped raise a gargoyle, two aswangs, a gorgon for a few years but they ended up moving and I wanted to stay in Europe, and---ooh---there was a basilisk too at least until the kiddo hit first grade.”

“What’s a basilisk?” Chloe asked, and she realized she was going to need to get a few monster encyclopedias and mythology books since now those were fucking field guides to her life somehow.

Lucifer offered her a kind smile and nudged her shoulder with his own. “Actually, that and the gargoyle are rather promising. Basilisks are snake shifters, and they have a penetrating stare that can paralyze people for a time.”

“Also poison, but I was immune either way, mostly a big ole pain in the rump for mortals.” Della sighed and sipped her water. “Sorry on that, Chloe. Humans are pretty gosh darn fragile.”

Lucifer nodded. “So relieved Penelope takes after me on that front. Why Father made you lot,” he said winking at Chloe, “so breakable is beyond me. However, there are quite the even odds that Penelope will develop wings of her own someday. I’m encouraged that you can handle that as well.”

“Best as I can, not that I can fly after them! However, I’ve found that a little leash…the child leashes in the U.S. even for mortal kids have come a long way…well they help an awful lot.”

Chloe blinked. “I’m not getting my daughter a leash!”

Lucifer frowned. “Not exactly dignified for a princess, but some type of lead might be prudent. Balloons have strings, love,” he said, frowning a little at Chloe.

“We’ll talk about that…I just…why would you want to babysit for us?” she continued, trying to treat this like a normal interview and not one that involved names of creatures she’d never heard of before.

“Because I love children, and I can understand what it’s like to be alone. We were rogue wolves, who for reasons I don’t want to get into right now, didn’t have a pack of our own, and it was lonely growing up. My family was great, and I had the best time with my brothers hunting and playing in the mountains. And don’t you fret, I used to chase deer. I don’t deal with humans because it’s wrong and, frankly, I heard y’all are pretty darn stringy!”

Chloe blinked not sure how to take that. “Um, thanks? I guess.”

“Splendid then. Althea promised you were pro-human. That’s quite brilliant as Chloe and her father---Penelope’s grandfather---are part of the package and as normal as they come. In a good way, of course, but they’re all rather new to things that go bump in the night.”

Della offered Chloe a blinding smile. “You can check my record going back twenty plus years. I don’t hurt humans, would never dream of it. Also, I like children and supernatural children have such unique needs. I…when Althea put her feelers out, well, I figured it was all a big ole question of who could need more love and affection than a girl with such a colorful legacy.”

Chloe was comforted by the words, but the reality of them did sting. Trixie was fundamentally different from anyone else. She wasn’t the Devil, exactly, and she might not even have her dad’s powers completely, and there was some prophecy out there all about what Trixie was supposed to be. Her little monkey certainly wasn’t going to be like other kids at school, if they could find a way to hide her well enough to get her to school at all. It made Chloe ache for their child, that she might be lonely most of the time.

Lucifer frowned at her and offered her back their child with a small extension of his arms. “Love, would you prefer to take her now?”

God…nope couldn’t think that now… _yes_ , she would. Chloe tried to smile but couldn’t quite make the gesture as she accepted Trixie back. “Yeah,” she replied, cradling Trixie close even as such beautiful, soulful brown eyes regarded her. Damn it if Trixie didn’t take just after her father in almost all ways. “So, uh Della, do you have a problem with her being part Devil?”

The werewolf shook her head. “I admit that where I came from, there were a lot of Bible thumpers. Not that it was good to overhear as a lycanthrope either. I mean, who wouldn’t think a werewolf was damned?”

“Only if you feel guilt, dear,” Lucifer added.

“However,” Della continued. “I’ve heard of Revelation and the moon going red as blood and all the rest of that hokum. But what I see here is a beautiful little girl with two parents fretting up a storm. She might be the antichrist, but she’s still just a little girl. I’m interested in that part of her. The rest…well…I’ve adjusted to all sorts of powers over the years. I’m sure hers will be a surprise, but I’d love to help. You can also call the basilisk family and the gorgon one if you want. I got permission for them too as references just today.” Della smiled gratefully at the waiter who stopped by and set out all their drinks finally, as the place had been packed.

Chloe wished she could drink something more powerful than chamomile tea. However, she managed to get a few sips in while balancing Trixie close. “That’s good. We like to be thorough. I…” she trailed off, unsure of even how to continue any of this.

Lucifer nudged her shoulder again as Della smiled. “Chloe, I can’t even begin to understand how overwhelming this is for you. You’re doing really well for someone who’d never seen a supernatural thing before, well, as I hear it, Mazikeen burst into your hospital room. All moms---even the human ones---feel nervous about their kids, about giving them the best. That’s normal.”

“The rest isn’t.” And she wished she hadn’t said it that way, that it didn’t make Lucifer stiffen and scoot his chair back away from her, but she couldn’t help the worry, that fear Trixie might grow up so alone or even hated by other children. How was that fair to their little monkey? “I just want Trixie to be happy and feel loved.”

Della nodded, “And, sugar, I’ll help you with that, best as I can. As far as I’m concerned, Trixie is her own person, and anything that’s in an old scripture or some prophet promised thousands of years ago isn’t about her. She’s who she is, and I’d love to help you all shape that.”

Lucifer nodded, although he was a bit more reserved than before. “Lovely, I’ll check your other references, and we’ll order lunch for now. How would dim sung be?”

“Great. I am so famished I could eat a whole hog!”

Chloe frowned. “Um, euphemism?”

“Depends on if I have paws or not, but currently yes, just an expression.” Della said as she perused the menu and sipped her soda. “However, sugar, I have to ask before y’all get busy. Can you sign something for me? I wasn’t kidding; your werewolf movies were the best comedies I’ve ever seen.”

Chloe wasn’t sure what to say to that.

**

Lucifer had not yet ventured to Chloe’s room. He feared that might make her anxious or think he expected more of their arrangement than he was. Oh, don’t mistake him, if she so much as beckoned her way, he’d go to her bed immediately. He could admit, maybe, that he still fancied her quite a bit, and among his many nights on earth and on holiday, that night with Chloe had been one of his most memorable. It had felt…safe. Odd that, but it had, just welcoming and secure with her. That in addition to the obvious thrum of passion between them, of course.

But no, so far, he’d try to give Chloe as much space as she’d needed, but he’d finished checking with that charming basilisk family and the slightly gruff gorgon couple and was convinced that Della was worth trying as an au pair. Besides, he was _never_ dealing with spit ups or nappies again. The less he risked with that, the better off his wardrobe would be.

Discussing those details would be best done with Chloe and away from the nursery. At this time of night, his little hellion was napping anyway.

Sighing but trying to school his features into relaxed insouciance, Lucifer knocked on Chloe’s bedroom door. She answered in nothing more than yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt that had to have been a crew made one from _Vampire Queen III: The Bloodletting_ (he’d recognize the logo anywhere). Her hair was mussed, and she had no make up at all, but she was still the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen.

Sod Althea, she was still mostly wrong.

One day, they’d have to decide on what “co-parenting” meant in the interim. He doubted she’d be interested in dating someone else right now, but he was feeling a bit hard up of late. Perhaps if he had a nice man or woman or both in his bed, he’d get over this weird host of sensations in his chest every time he saw Chloe.

Then again, something sour hit the back of his throat when he even thought of trying a different dalliance. Unacceptable really. The stresses of unexpected fatherhood were getting to him, that was all.

“Are you alright, darling?” he asked. “I say this often, but I can appreciate that a few days ago with an Aswang and today with a werewolf weren’t easy.” He rocked back and forth on the balls of this feet. “I confess that I feel I need to make an all-purpose apology card I can give you every time the preternatural world terrifies you so. Truly I never meant to drag you down to my level.”

She chuckled at him. “Morningstar, you don’t need to feel that crappy. It’s not about the fact Della’s a werewolf,” Chloe moved back and gestured into her room. “Come in. You have to know this, but I’ve had apartments a ton smaller than this room. You can sit in the recliner if you want to.”

He passed through the room but stayed on his feet. “I’d prefer to stand, darling.” He gave the room a quick glance, at the four-poster bed and pinks satin seats, the settee and the recliner, the large flat screen, and the make-up chair and mirror. “Is this acceptable? I never got a chance to ask or to survey your accommodations. I trusted my staff to set it up for you for now. Is it agreeable?”

Chloe laughed. “You know it is.”

“Yes, quite,” he said, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets. It was too tempting to reach out and squeeze her shoulders. It might bloody lead him into sweeping her into a kiss and then snogging her rotten. Best to keep his hands to himself. Just co-parents. Partners, really. Fully clothed partners, bully for that.

She opted to sit at the foot of her bed and pushed her hair back from her face. “I worry about Trixie a lot already.”

“Because she’s like me?” Lucifer said, his voice a whisper. “I do apologize for this entire dilemma, had I known…”

“Not the way you think. Okay, so at first the red eye thing made me nervous.”

He sighed and tried to keep a tight smile on his face. He ignored the way that bile was working its way up his throat again. He was Lucifer Morningstar, former Lightbringer and King of Hell, and he’d nothing to be ashamed of.

At all.

And screw you for all this, Father.

“It is unsettling. It’s meant to be, so that I can scare sinners, to be quite honest. I admit that I find her little ruby gaze beyond endearing.”

“I do too now,” Chloe admitted, and the smile that graced her lips was genuine; he’d known her long enough now to tell the difference. “I regretted I couldn’t find you once I knew I was pregnant. I just…I did try to get in touch.”

His eyebrows raised in shock. “You did?”

She nodded. “I wanted Trixie to always have a father too. I know what it’s like not to have a parent around, especially when you’re young. I mean Mom was murdered when I was nineteen, but it was hard. Dad loves Trixie so much, but it wouldn’t have been the same with just us. I mean, he’s great.”

Lucifer’s expression grew more pinched. John was not a bad man, but he clearly didn’t like him. Also, rules. Lucifer personally adhered to the philosophy that a little rebellion was good for the soul. He had next to know use for oh so many tedious rules. “Yes, he does adore you.”

Not a lie.

“But a girl needs her dad, trust me. So, I’m glad you’re in Trixie’s life, and I’m selfish cause I’m relieved that because of you and your side, she won’t break an arm or accidentally choke on something or get burned or…”

“Humans really are too fragile.”

She nodded. “I agree when it comes to Trixie maybe getting hurt. I just…today was when I realized how different she is, how she is going to get more than just the eyes and the resilience, and I want her to have friends. I’m so worried she won’t be able to make them.”

Lucifer frowned. “So, it’s not about me?”

She laughed. “Not everything is, exactly, Lucifer. I want her to be happy, just like you do, and that’s hard when you can’t make friends.”

He quirked his head at her. That didn’t make sense to him. He’d not truly had friends. His siblings, outside of dear little Azrael and, in the beginning, Michael, had mostly despised him and his habit of asking far too many questions. In Hell, Mazikeen was his trusted companion, but she was not quite a friend, more like a lover when he felt like it and a bodyguard. Soldiers and demons under his command, Lucifer had. But friends? Lucifer could admit to himself that he didn’t know much about them.

But Chloe was a star! She’d been an absolute goddess in that hot tub film and was still sought after for her genre niche. How could she have ever been lonely?

“You speak as if you’ve been an outcast too, love. I don’t know how that’s possible.”

Chloe sighed and looked at her lap. “I was a child actress. Mom had me doing auditions by six. I was always working on sitcoms and made for tv movies by the time I was eight. I had set tutors and co-stars. I never had a schedule that allowed me to go to real school. Kids in my neighborhood assumed I was snotty and a lot made fun of Mom’s movies, you know? My dad hung out with me a lot. We’d go camping and do fun stuff together when he had time. Mom…I loved her so much, but she made ‘mother-daughter time’ into pageants and auditions that were more for her. I have some friends now, but after I got pregnant and pretty damn sick, they fell away. I mean, there are a few friends from the _Vampire Queen_ crew I still talk to. Ella was our make-up effects expert, and she still texts me all the time. I just...I’ve _been_ lonely too.”

“Unfathomable! You’re bloody brilliant.”

She laughed until she did that odd little, endearing giggle-snort of hers. No, Chloe Decker was not nearly as smooth in person as her vampire queen counterpart, but she was delightfully kind and so very silly when she was relaxed. It was confusing, but there was something better about the real, unpolished version of Chloe than the silver screen siren he’d fancied at first.

“Lucifer, I was an awkward teen girl like anyone else, but everyone got to see me be gangly on TV!”

“Oh, I suppose that would be difficult.”

“So, you never had an awkward phase? Maybe as you were growing up your wings were still too big for your body. I dunno, how can angels be awkward?”

“We literally can’t be. Angels are made whole and grown. Mum and Dad created us as we are now.” He took his hands from his pockets and went to sit next to her on the bed. “I was never a child. New to the universe, sure, but a child, never.”

“Wow. I think you’re gonna have to make me a flow chart of all the angel stuff and then a big list of everything that actually exists. It’s a lot.”

He nodded and brightened a bit when she set her head on his shoulder. Friends did that, assuredly. “There has been a lot to cover, but I am rather gobsmacked. I’d have thought of you as popular and envied even as a spawn.”

“No, I was a lonely kid. I just want Trixie to have friends and be happy.” She looked up at him with watery eyes, and Lucifer put murdering everything in sight if Chloe were sad on his list of his growing compulsions now that he had a family. “What if normal kids or even, uh, other supernatural kids don’t like her? What if they’re scared of her?”

Lucifer sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t know about that yet, darling. She’s not even two weeks old. Perhaps she’ll have a personality as lovely as yours, and then we’ll be beating off potential suitors and friends alike off with sticks.”

“I know but---”

“I’m rather charming myself, I’ll have you know.”

“I just…I think Della seems really nice, and she knows what it’s like to be a isolated kid too. I think if she wants to work for us still, then we should hire her. She seems like she’ll be good for Trixie.”

Lucifer let out a long sigh. “Thank Dad for agreeing, at least. I will _not_ do nappies and baby vomit. I’ll call her tonight, and she’ll be on the estate by noon tomorrow.”

“But we’re going to run out of time here eventually. Your family will find us.”

“Remiel will. It’s her gift, and if not for Maze, she’d be the best huntress I’ve ever seen. I’ve an appointment on Monday with a warlock. He’s coming here to help cloak all of us, especially Penelope. Your father and you also need some mystical camouflage but what old John-O will do for Penelope might be rather extensive. She must be hidden, and I think we all agree on that.”

“John-O?”

“John Constantine, a frenemy of mine to be honest. He’s helped me in scrapes with Papa Midnite in point of fact.”

“Definitely gonna need that flow chart.”

“But I’ve also sometimes screwed him out of mystical---mostly Infernal---artifacts that he’d have liked to lay claim to over the years. However, he’s amenable to helping me, and he’s the strongest and best warlock I know of. He was already in Hong Kong so for enough Scotch and a plane ticket, he was ready to come here.”

Chloe balked at that. “You’re paying him in alcohol?”

“Bloody hell, I wish. I’ll also owe him quite a chunk of money, worth it for Penelope of course, and a couple molars. Those shall be a pain to extract.”

His partner chuckled beside him. “Ha-ha, you won’t get me on that same joke twice. Althea just took cash.”

“John-O wants some extra totems to his collection. The two molars are going to him. It’ll be…cumbersome.”

She turned and regarded him with wide eyes. “Will it hurt?”

“Well, mystical artifact will be needed, some hell forged weapon or Celestial blade to help me, and I’d rather not go into the details as such. But if he can give you and Penelope and John a normal life and freedom of movement by hiding you, then needs must. I only eat when I feel like it, and a couple teeth I rarely think about won’t be missed.”

He wasn’t expecting the slap on his shoulder, and he definitely wasn’t expecting it to leave Chloe fine and without her muttering about a sprained hand. _Odd that._

“Lucifer! Next time you literally make deals based around self-mutilation, you should tell me!”

He shook his head. “You’d say no, and what must be done for our family must be done. Truly it’s no bother.”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Two teeth for the right spell to hide you from Remiel and her hunting party is hardly hurting, Chloe.” He reached over and pushed her hair back from her lovely face and wished desperately he could run a thumb over that tempting beauty mark on her cheek. But they were co-parents, nothing more. “I would raze Heaven to ash for all of you, even John.”

“You and my dad will get along some day.”

“Perhaps. Personally, I’ve no real quarrel with him outside of too many bloody rules, but he’s Penelope’s grandfather and clearly most of your world as well. To protect the three of you, I would do everything in my considerable power.”

He waited patiently for her reaction, curious and a bit anxious to see if she’d get quiet again, scared by the casual allusion to his power and _other_ nature.

She surprised him by hugging him tightly. “Thank you so much. It means everything to me that you want to protect Trixie.”

“Penelope.”

“Nope, not going to happen,” she said, smirking at him. “I just want her to have lots of friends. Maybe break the track record that you and I had. It would be nice for her not be shunned.”

He kissed the crown of Chloe’s head delicately. Friends could do that. Maybe. Well, now he would with her. Sod it. “If I could Will her to be beloved and popular I would, but I don’t quite have that kind of power. Friendship based on favors isn’t real, not when it counts. I cannot compel some snot-nosed urchin to care for Penelope as we do. If I could, I would of course.”

“God, erm, sorry.”

He nodded. “I’ll let that one slide.”

“But it’s hard. You’d think that Trixie being part all-powerful would make things easier in some ways and at least no E.R. visits in her future, but it just…I don’t want her to be sad.”

Lucifer hugged her again and the very reluctantly stood up. “Nor do I. We’ll work hard to see that doesn’t happen, but for now, I need to call Della and offer the job. Then, soon enough, we’ll get all of you cloaked.”

Chloe set her hands on her knees and nodded up at him. “Um, is this Constantine dangerous?”

“He’s greedy and has flexible morals, but since he’s getting the teeth-dosh-Macallan trifecta, he’ll play nice enough. Don’t worry ever, Vampire Queen, if any mortal ever thought to cross me, they’d live to regret it,” he promised, his voice a low growl.

She crinkled her nose up at that. “I should be mad about the implied threat there.”

“I can creatively torture people too without bodily harm involved. That’s half the fun.”

“But,” she continued. “If this helps Trixie, then do it.”

“And you. I do not wish to trap you in my homes, to move you like a shell game over the world forever. I’ve plans for a starter home for us and for other things, Chloe. Constantine’s a big part of that.” He gave her a low, courtly bow then. “Until tomorrow, my dear. I’ll see myself out.”

He was halfway through the door before Chloe called behind him. “Not to confuse you or send mixed signals…but if you want to come and just hang out, we can. I mean…you can take the recliner or the sofa thingy. But I just…you don’t have to limit us interacting to being around Trixie only, you know? I’d like us to be friends too.”

He turned and ignored that damned vice again, the way it tightened around his chest. Friends was what they could manage. Rationally, he got that, but how desperately he’d prefer more. And how shamefully eager he was for her offered crumbs.

“I’d like that very much, darling.”

**

John was not pleased. First, he’d found…he wasn’t exactly sure _what_ he’d found earlier this week, but it seemed like he’d walked in on the Devil trying to seduce his daughter all over again. Since that insanity, things seemed to be getting better, but it hadn’t escaped his watchful eye that after dinner, sometimes Lucifer went to Chloe’s wing and her room---his little monkey’s _room_ \---to watch movies with her.

So help him, he _would_ find a way to at the very least castrate Satan if he touched his daughter like _that_ again. Penelope was wonderful and everything he’d ever want in a grandchild. That said, getting Penelope here had been a terrifying process, one that had landed Chloe on bedrest and with supplemental oxygen. He’d spent the final three months terrified he’d lose his whole family.

There could never be another. Chloe might actually die if she tried.

Besides, all this madness aside, Chloe deserved a nice, normal _human_ man and not the Prince of Darkness. They had a child in common, but it didn’t mean that if all this crap about a wizard or witch or whatever Lucifer was talking about panned out…well, his little monkey should have a normal life around her motherly duties.

One that involved Lucifer Morningstar as little as fucking possible. Date nights or “friendly film” nights as Lucifer had mentioned were not acceptable.

However, that was a worry for later as they all, as a family (the Devil was his family now, help him), were currently standing in the middle of the estate’s expansive gardens and near a large, ornate fountain with, of all things, a marble cherub spitting water into a small pool.

“What even is that?” John asked.

Lucifer looked between where John was cradling Penelope and eyed the fountain, then shrugged. “I have a sense of irony, besides the craftwork is excellent.”

John looked toward his daughter. “You know, honey, this uh man witch is late.”

“Constantine is a warlock,” Lucifer corrected.

“Right, sure, like the terminology matters,” John said.

“Actually, the right title is everything in a spell,” a British man (another one, ugh) called out, as he stalked into the center of the garden.

He was small compared to Lucifer with a shock of bright blond hair, a tie that hadn’t been ironed in a decade if ever, and a trench coat with multiple blood stains on it. And this idiot was supposed to save his daughter and granddaughter?

John was unimpressed.

The smaller man---Constantine---looked up at Lucifer. “Lucifer Morningstar, well, never pictured you as the domestic type.” And then that sonofabitch licked his lips at the Devil and sighed. “Pity, you’re off the market, then. Not even for a bit of a quick tumble?”

The Devil looked quickly at Chloe, and it didn’t escape John’s notice how his daughter seemed to suddenly find the dirt interesting. “Well, that’s a bit more nebulous, John-O. However, I lack an amorous mood today since I yanked your payment out yesterday. Healing, sure, but even I can only do so much after an accidental poke with a Celestial blade.” Kneeling down, Lucifer picked up the cardboard box at his feet. “As agreed upon Contan- _tyne_ : three handles of Macallan Scotch, two molars of Infernal design, and 100,000 pounds in non-sequential bills. Trust that shall suffice?”

“It’s Constan- _teen_ ,” the stranger grumbled, even as he greedily grabbed up the loot.

John blinked between them. “Wait, slow down, you two used to---”

Lucifer cut him off. “I’ve had many lovers. Constantine is a bit more on-and-off than some. Currently, very much off. I’ve a long memory and that stunt you pulled ten years ago in Malta rankles even now, John-O.”

The warlock grinned. “Oh, I’m one of the _best_ he’s ever had, and he knows it.” Then, he turned his attention to Chloe. “Although you must be something, love, to have drawn the Devil’s attention show. Always enjoyed that hot tub film of yours, but the vampire crap was utter bollocks.”

“Yeah, I get it, vampires don’t exist and all the horror movies I make are inaccurate,” she said, and John almost chuckled at his daughter. She was glaring at Lucifer with a death stare that the Devil didn’t quite know her well enough to understand yet. “Lucifer didn’t mention you’d dated.”

John groaned inwardly. His Chlo-bear should not care about Lucifer’s dating history. _At all_. He was the Devil, of course he’d slept around everywhere (ugh, holy shit, could Satan spread STDs too?). Honestly, his little monkey should be relieved that Lucifer had other interests and that he might yet get distracted by anyone _not_ her.

Again, just “friendly movie nights,” John’s ass.

Lucifer, who seemed to be oblivious to Chloe’s, frustrations shrugged. “I’ve had many bed partners. Constantine vexes as often as he pleases.”

“So, you say, Luci,” the warlock replied. “However,” he continued, setting down the box. “Business is business. You three need to be cloaked I hear and sooner rather than later.”

“Yes, exactly,” Lucifer said.

Chloe frowned between them both. “What exactly would cloaking entail?”

“In this case, nothing as complex as you’d imagine. I can mystically hide you, and it won’t even take blood summoning circles,” Constantine said.

John blinked and gripped his granddaughter tighter. “Blood what now?”

“Blood magic, powerful stuff. I use it most often to open portals between the planes, to try and seek for lost souls, a bit of all that. However, once Luci explained the parameters, I knew I could offer a more nuanced solution,” Constantine said.

Before John could ask Constantine more, the warlock reached into his left trench coat pocket and pulled out three necklaces. All seemed to be cast out of silver (though John couldn’t be sure they were real). Two were crucifixes on the front with sigils in a language John had no hope of knowing on the back. The third necklace ended instead in an infinity symbol and both its front and back were carved with sigils as well, but they were jagged lines and broken in places, lacked the smooth script of the other two.

“They’re enchanted. Once Lucifer called, I spent three days crafting them,” the warlock said.

Lucifer snorted. “Always that, Dad and his number obsession.”

“More or less,” Constantine agreed. “But the two with the crosses and the Enochian script are for the humans. Obviously, that much might be a bit uncomfortable for the antichrist.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’m hardly adverse to religious imagery. I hate Dad but am not actively burned by his relics. You know me better.”

“Still, her cloaking is more cumbersome, so an older, more elemental symbol was needed. I’m sure, Luci, you recognize the Lilim on it.”

The Devil nodded. “And these will work?”

“As long as you lot wear them,” Constantine continued. “or at the least, you secret them somewhere on your person, no member of the Host, even that insufferable cunt---”

“Hey!” John said, covering his granddaughter’s ears in reflex. “She can hear this.”

Constantine smirked. “She’s asleep, and she’s not even two weeks old. Besides, ask Luci, his sister is an utter, rancid bitch.”

Lucifer shrugged. “That’s true.”

Then, he let his eyes blaze red, and even if Constantine didn’t seem to care about such a display, John did. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up every time Lucifer did it. When Penelope’s changed her eyes, he found it oddly cute. But when the Devil did the same thing, John could only feel unease, that blatant reminder of _just_ _what_ had managed to seduce his daughter.

To trap her.

The Devil continued, his voice low and menacing. “However, if you ever curse in front my child again, you won’t like my reaction to it, Constan- _tyne_.”

Constantine let out a low whistle but regarded Chloe instead. “I’m honestly impressed, Chloe.”

“I don’t understand,” his daughter said, and John stepped closer to her. She was so very quiet then, her voice weak, and he knew that wasn’t like her, except when she was upset.

“You really have stolen the Devil’s heart. How mental is that?” Constantine then handed her one of the crucifix necklaces and, in turn, gave the other two to John, himself. “They’re pure silver, of course, as that metal has religious power ever since---”

“Old Judas Iscariot took his 30 pieces,” Lucifer replied. “Not my doing, don’t even start asking, John.”

He narrowed his eyes at the Devil. Was the bastard a Jedi or a mind reader too? “So, we just wear these and Heaven’s hit squad can’t find us?”

“It was a long seventy-two hours of casting to make these. Didn’t just order them up in a sodding catalogue.” Constantine regarded Lucifer. “Penelope was it?”

“Beatrice Penelope,” Lucifer conceded, and John figured even the Devil wasn’t interested in picking a fight over the little girl’s nickname currently.

“Yes, well, she can _never_ take hers off. It’s unclear to me if the Host know enough to seek out John or Chloe, but those necklaces will protect them regardless. I…even from here I can _feel_ what she is. Your sister has been slow because this is a unique signature, one she can’t place _yet_. I think at least. But if your whelp ever loses that amulet, I wouldn’t give your sister more than a few hours before she finds the kid. You’re obviously insulated here and on your various properties with their hidden wards.”

“What?” Chloe asked.

“Defensive spells, things carved in the foundation,” Lucifer answered.

“Yes, however, if Penelope ever takes that off, she’ll bring a bullseye down on her. You need her to understand that.”

Chloe nodded and slipped her own necklace on. Then, she inched near him and took the one for Penelope from his hands and latched it around the baby’s neck. John would do the same back inside as soon as he had free hands. He wanted all the protection from the angels he could get. John wasn’t anxious to deal with beings so powerful that they made Satan sweat.

He’d found in his police work that if even the bad guys were scared of a bigger shark up the line, it was important to be aware of that. To take the fucking hint. If his sister scared Lucifer, then John could respect that, do as he was told.

For now.

“Lovely,” Lucifer said. “John-O, pleasure as always.”

The warlock waggled his eyebrows at Lucifer. “Always up for another go, mate.”

Chloe turned toward him and then asked for Penelope back. “Dad, I think…I just need a minute, and it’s time to feed her anyway.”

He nodded, knowing damn well that wasn’t actually true but wishing that his daughter were anywhere else, being subjected to this flirting was between Lucifer and Constantine. “Here you go. I’ll be up soon. Figured you might want some good old Dad time too.”

Chloe nodded and kissed his cheek. “Totally.”

And with that, she set a land speed record in getting back into the house. Before him, Lucifer’s expression soured. and he took a few steps after her before John held out his hand and shook his head. “Not today, Satan. I know my daughter, and she does _not_ want to deal with you right now.”

He frowned at John in utter confusion. “Whatever did I do?”

Oh, dear Go…no don’t think that. What the Hel…no not that either. Okay, what the fuck? Was his ersatz son-in-law (kind of) this dense? How had he ruled Hell when he was this clueless about the little things?

“You need me to explain?” John asked.

Constantine just chuckled. “I see how it is currently, Luci. She’s got you by the short hairs, has she? Well, I’ll be off, too much drama for my taste. If you’re ever off your leash though, look a bloke up.” With that, he picked up his payment and winked at John. “Beautiful granddaughter and daughter you have. You must be proud. Congrats.”

“Get out of our home.”

Constantine laughed again. “Oh Luci, you have two tigers by the tail, don’t you? Can’t wait to see what becomes of you when that little antichrist of yours is old enough to have the fire of her mother’s side in her. Woe be unto Creation, I’d wager.” After that, the warlock wasted no time in strutting back out of the garden.

Lucifer started to pace then, occasionally raking a hand through his hair distractedly. “John, I feel I’ve erred in some way.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Lucifer stopped and frowned at him, wielding his human eyes with more precision as weapons than his reddened ones. Guy really had puppy eyes down. Damn, that would be something to watch out with for Penelope. She was going to be convincing already, John could tell.

Sighing, John took a modicum of pity on Lucifer, who looked so damned sad, and spoke, “You really don’t know?”

“I would think all of you should be relieved. Constantine’s solution is elegant and simple. With the amulets on, the three of you can carry on unmolested as before. I don’t understand at all. This is what Chloe wanted. She can go back to her career as soon as she feels ready and healthy and especially with Della on duty.”

“Who?”

Lucifer sighed and pulled at his cufflinks. “Right then, forgot to tell you about her. Anyway, Penelope has an au pair starting soon. Once we’re all settled in our new home, Della will start with us. She’s a lovely werewolf, comes with the best references. Utterly glowing ones.”

John laughed. “Right pull the other one.”

“No, Della is a werewolf, that’s true. Chloe and I agreed that any nanny for Penelope would need to be capable of keeping up with her, well, special needs at the supernatural level.”

John gaped at his…at Chloe’s…fuck, at Penelope’s clueless father. “You hired a monster to babysit my granddaughter?”

“A werewolf. Very well behaved, only hunts deer, and she’s worked for half a dozen other families who just adored her.” Lucifer did that damn eye thing again, and John didn’t jump back from him. Not really. “Also, do be careful throwing that epithet around. The _others_ you meet, that I’ll allow around you all, will be good ones, ones who wouldn’t dream of either harming humans or the Devil’s family. Foolish that. But if you insult a werewolf or a warlock or what have you, it still won’t end well for you, John Decker.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Lucifer’s eyes calmed back to brown. “See that you do. Now, whatever did I bugger up? Well, to be quite honest, I didn’t even do that! I wasn’t going to have John-O over for anything amorous.”

“You invited an ex over to help with this and didn’t tell Chloe. You think she wanted to hear some dude you slept with make passes at you in front of her. Get real!” John sighed and slipped the amulet around his neck. Better safe than sorry. “I don’t like you.”

“Covered that.”

“I tolerate you because, God help me---”

“Hey!”

“Or whoever, but Penelope adores you.”

“Of course, she does. The princess of Hell already has impeccable taste.”

“However, Chloe…she does care about you, and I desperately want that to stay as invested co-parents only.”

“I…she’s made it clear that’s our relationship, and I honor her wishes.”

“That said, I really don’t want her to ever change her mind and go for more someday. My monkey is a normal woman thrown into your circus, Lucifer, and she deserves a fuckign lot better than you can give her.”

“I can give her anything, almost.”

“Not normalcy, not even close. After all her disruptions in her childhood with her own career and how hard it was for both of us when her mom was murdered…she deserved a normal, happy, and _functional_ life. You don’t strike me as the type to be able to do that.” John gestured to his amulet. “You get points for finding a way to help her go back to her career---which she loves---when it’s time, and she feels up to it. Still, the best thing that could happen to Chloe would be for you to never try and get back with her. You do get that, don’t you?”

“I…she said we’re partners, and that is all. I respect choice and free will fervently.”

“My Chlo-bear doesn’t always understand what’s best for her, and she may still have affection for you that I hope can be stamped out but is still there anyway for now. So yeah, Lucifer, Constantine flirting with you hurt her.” He sighed and shoved aside his own feelings on the matter.

He was more flexible than some at the precinct about that sort of thing, since his wife Penelope had always had so many friends of all types onset and at their home. However, he hadn’t exactly wanted a front row seat to the Devil and the warlock flirting either.

“I wouldn’t have taken Constantine up on the offer. Chloe and I haven’t discussed exactly how us dating or seeing others would work while we’re trying to raise Penelope, but I’d never shove that in her face or indulge in any such thing till we’d agreed on an open situation for both of us. I…” he sighed and raked a hand through his hair so fast that it jarred loose some strands despite the insane amount of fancy, who cares, hair gel he caked on. “I’ve really messed this up again, haven’t I?”

“Oh, I’d say so. I’m thrilled you have, but it’s best if Penelope’s parents at least get along. I’d think of a way to make it up to her and soon,” he said, turning toward the house. “See you much later, Lucifer. I think it’s best if tonight Chloe and I took care of the baby. _Alone._ ”

**

The last of their days in Shanghai passed quickly. Lucifer insisted they move onto somewhere else, a third location far from L.A. for now but also distant from Shanghai in case Remiel had caught any of Trixie’s scent while she’d been out to meet Della or Althea. He had the property and location of their next home all secured and had been positively giddy about the “surprise” for a week, refusing to tell either her or Dad where they were going.

Chloe let him plan.

She shouldn’t have cared. Clearly, a guy like Lucifer---an _immortal_ guy like Lucifer---had a past and rolodex after rolodex of one-night stands as she’d been. Hell, he probably had more lovers I his past than she could even _count_. Still, it had ached hard in her chest to see the interest in Lucifer’s expression when Constantine had offered him a night of extracurricular activities. That wasn’t even fair because she was the one who insisted on co-parenting, but rejection was rejection, nonetheless. The warlock might have laughed about her being the one to have captured Lucifer’s attentions, but _Chloe_ didn’t feel that way.

If her, sighs, baby daddy had trusted her enough to tell her the warlock who was going to save them was also his ex…at least that would have been _something_. As it was, it felt like he’d either hidden that fact, or, worse, Lucifer hadn’t given a crap about shoving a former flame in her face.

So, yes, while they doted together mutually over Trixie during her feedings or when taking her out in her stroller around the property, they hadn’t spoken to each other about anything _not_ Trixie in a week. When they boarded the jet (since it would be more complicated he claimed to use his wings instead), she’d been happy to sit as far away from him as she could.

It wasn’t good for them and that kind of barely tolerated détente wouldn’t be good for Trixie either.

But she hurt, and it made her almost snap at him when he’d placed the blindfold on her face and on John’s, fretting and promising that he wanted everything to be a surprise. She didn’t even know which continent they were on. Chloe figured it didn’t even matter where they ended up living, none of it would be back home for now, and she missed Los Angeles for all its faults deeply. She just wanted something familiar in her life.

Was that too much to ask?

After what felt like over an hour in the car, they pulled to a stop, and Lucifer practically crowed beside her. “Now, Decker family, I’d like to show you my latest acquisition. I think you’ll find it will serve multiple purposes over the next few years before we try London or Vancouver, of course.”

Chloe frowned before slipping off her blindfold. “What?”

“Well, I picked a place you could film in, naturally. I hope you don’t mind, but I reached out feelers to the producers of the _Vampire Queen_ franchise, pulled a few favors, and they said that whenever you’re ready to film around Penelope’s schedule---whether that’s in six months or in two years---they’ll be happy to shoot movies 4 and 5 back-to-back.

She yanked off her blindfold, suddenly knowing where they were. “We shot those in Romania!”

“Yes, of course you did. So, until you get through filming more of your best adventures, Chloe, consider Romania---the Transylvanian part---to be your home.”

Beside her, her father yanked off his blindfold too and then gulped at the massive castle before them. “I don’t understand.”

Chloe, who had been to some of the tourist sites around here because she’d filmed in the country three times now (it was very cheap to do so anyway; a lot of horror movies did it), recognized the literal castle, turrets and all, before them. It had multiple towers, white stone walls, roofs that were vibrant with their red clay tile, and tiny windows. Gothic architecture if ever she’d seen it, and she had visited the tourist site before by herself while filming the first reboot film.

“I…this wasn’t for sale.”

Lucifer stepped from the car and helped her out first before also grabbing the baby carrier with Trixie secured inside it. “Correction, love. It wasn’t for sale until I offered the _right price_. Then, as always, with the most opportune favor in the offing, the purchase was more than manageable.”

Her dad followed after them in a daze. He was looking around frantically from the towers of the castle to the huge pine forest around them and the high rolling hills in the distance. “What the Hell?”

“Hardly,” Lucifer said, grinning widely. “May I introduce you to the historically purported home of Dracula. Now, that vampire’s a myth but the Walachian warlord Vlad Tepes did exist, only a blood thirty mortal of course. But if you’re going to return to your most famous role, Vampire Queen, you deserve to do so in style.”

Chloe didn’t know how to respond to any of this. This was crazy. Her insane, totally over the top, never listened to anything, uh, baby daddy had just bought her a castle. A world-famous castle. And all because they’d had a fight.

Oh crap.

She offered Lucifer a small smile and sighed. “Hey, can you hand Trixie to Dad? I think they can start getting settled.”

“Yes, well the movers already set up the rooms, and I received a ring from the chef and Della, respectively. Not all the staff is here yet, but those two are, and of course, they shall see to any need you have.” Lucifer nodded to her dad as he handed over their child. He spared a moment to flash his eyes at Trixie and was rewarded when she cooed and did the same. “Now-now, my little antichrist, you’ll have a lovely time getting settled with your grandad. Apparently, Mummy and I have to have a chat.”

Trixie cooed again and reached up for his finger, and it was adorable and Chloe so needed not to get distracted by that because Lucifer had just decided the next steps in her career _and_ bought her a mother loving castle.

“Dad, please?” she said, nodding to her father.

Her dad shook just shook his head in probable confusion and hurried inside with Trix.

She sighed and leaned against the hood of the car and was glad the driver had already had the sense to scram into the castle--- _dear fuck she owned a castle now, kind of_ \---the second they parked. Apparently, everyone _but_ Lucifer could read her mood now.

Speak of the Devil, he frowned down at her and started to straighten his perfect lapels. “You seem perturbed, darling. Whatever could you object to here?”

Chloe blinked at him. The Devil literally had no idea what he’d done. She narrowed her eyes at him and sighed again. “You called my bosses, essentially. I don’t even know how you got in touch with them or what favors you cashed in…”

“Best not to ask, love.”

“And you agreed to set up my next career move without _even asking me_ , and then you bought a castle!”

“Is it not big enough? I can find something else, if you like.” He moved then to playing with his onyx ring. “I…is this not enough.”

Chloe raked a hand through her hair that was already tangled and greasy from travel. God…no whoever above…what she wouldn’t give for a hot shower instead of a talk with Lucifer. “You said value Free Will, right?”

“Always.”

“But you circumvented mine.”

He stilled and seemed to shrink in on himself. “No…I….but that’s something my father would do. I never would. This is different, Chloe. You were clearly upset that having Penelope derailed your career. That was my fault. Thus, I had to fix it. You love those Vampire Queen films, and you already mentioned you were wanted back. I merely greased the necessary wheels to make your triumphant return possible.”

“But you didn’t ask me if this was what I wanted!”

“Isn’t it?”

She groaned and set her head in her hands. _Of course, it was_. But then again, he needed to understand that he couldn’t just buy her or Trixie off. That apologies and gifts were _not_ the same.

“I don’t understand. Is this some human thing?” he asked, his voice low and mournful.

Chloe looked up at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s a Decker thing. Lucifer, you messed up. I can tell you get that. All you had to do was tell me before Constantine was over that he was an ex. I’d have understood, but it hurt when it turned out to be a shock out of nowhere. You have to trust me that I can roll with your past. Afterwards, when I was upset, all you had to do was apologize. Literally just pull me aside and say, ‘I’m sorry, and I wasn’t thinking.’ I don’t need you to make grand gestures, and I have to tell you, getting me a two-picture deal---”

“I mucked up your last chance for a deal!”

“Yeah but you got my career reorganized and bought a castle.”

“You’re rather fixated on that part.”

“This is a giant fairy tale castle. It’s a big, crazy deal, Lucifer. You felt guilty---”

“Now, hold it right there,” he said, arching his neck up high. “The Devil doesn’t feel guilt. I merely wanted to make things up to you; that’s being polite.”

She narrowed her eyes at him but decided to fight one battle at a time. “You can’t just buy me something extravagant every time we fight. You really can’t get Trixie anything she wants either when she’s old enough to ask.”

“John says that too. I mean, have you _tried_ parenting that way, seems to make sense.”

Chloe took several deep breaths. She wasn’t completely wrong. Raising a child with him was almost like raising one with an alien. In some ways, Lucifer had such little concept of normalcy and correct human behavior that it baffled her. Who else would think buying a landmark to live in would smooth over an argument?

Who else could even facilitate that?

“You can’t though. Feelings…that’s about communication, Lucifer, _not stuff_.”

“But you can still keep the stuff. You’re a brilliant actress, Chloe. You don’t see it in yourself, but I do. It feels wrong to deprive the world of how wonderful you are. Please, at least think about the _Vampire Queen_ films. They’re ready to shoot whenever you prefer. If that can’t be until Penelope is in primary school, the producers can still wait. I…don’t let my own idiocy and carelessness mean you’ve forfeited your job.”

She relaxed then, dropping her arms to her sides and shaking her head. “You really do like my movies?”

“I should think that would be bloody well obvious by now. You’re self deprecating all the time about them being utter dreck, but you’re not bad as an actress at bloody all. Truly, you deserve more than quitting due to this whole sordid affair. At least take time before you commit either way, yes? And I promise I will never make favors on your behalf in Hollywood again…unless you ask, of course,” he said, finally leaning next to her on the hood of the town car.

Chloe sighed and kissed the hollow of his throat. Uh, co-parents could do that. Sure. “Sweet, but you can’t…next time we fight, let’s just talk about it, okay? You really don’t have to buy me a castle. Besides, we’re raising a very special, very intense kid together. There are going to be more fights. You can’t buy every castle on earth.”

“Technically---”

“You’re not supposed to do that,” she said, cutting him off, and she really wouldn’t think about the reality of that last part. Too tempting. “Trixie and I care about you. You’re family. You don’t have to buy your way in. Dad even likes how good you are with Trix.”

“He does?”

“He grumbles a lot, but he knows you’re trying really hard. No more extravagant surprises for me okay?”

“You’ve my word, Vampire Queen, that I won’t buy you anything over the top before running it by you. And my word is my bond!”

Good, now that he’d promised, she and Trixie both wouldn’t be inundated with a parade of impractical and insane presents. That was progress.

“However,” he said, glancing up at the historical Dracula’s home because of course Lucifer had thought to buy it in the first place. “For right now, this is as good a place to rest as any. Wouldn’t you like to at least see the accommodations? I think you’ll find it’s rather lovely inside.”

She sighed. He was trying, and he wanted to make a huge effort for their family. Lucifer had at least understood that his lack of disclosure on Constantine hurt her and was attempting to fix it. Yes, he’d gone thoroughly overboard in what she was beginning to realize was his pattern of batshit insane levels of indulgence, but he was _trying_ , and it was clear her, uh, baby daddy (definitely needed a better term) didn’t understand human rules yet.

Chloe had to meet him halfway. “If you promise to never buy a random castle again, we’ll stay here for a bit while I figure out my career. It seems like a well-fortified place to keep Trixie safe.” Leaning forward again, this time she kissed his cheek briefly. “I appreciate you apologized, Lucifer. I just…you don’t owe me gifts all the time. We’re co-parents and partners. We don’t need to buy each other’s cooperation.”

“I shall try to remember that.”

She reached over and squeezed his forearm. “Besides, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

His eyes widened like she’d offered him billions in cash. Maybe even like she’d offered him the secret of life on a silver platter. “We are?”

Her heart twisted for him. How ancient was he? If he literally had been there before _let there be light_ , then had it been _billions_ of years for him, right? Maybe? It made her head hurt to try and understand that. However long he’d lived, a being as old as Lucifer shouldn’t be surprised that someone wanted to be his friend.

“Chloe?”

She forced herself to stay smiling. He’d hate the pity from her, she could tell that much too by now. “Of course, we are, Lucifer. I’m serious. I’ve never had a lot of friends before, and I’d like for you to be one. I think you could use another one too.”

He took her left hand in his, brought it to his mouth, and kissed the back of it in such a courtly gesture that it made her roll her eyes at the silliness of it. “I’d like that very much, Chloe. Now, can we go see the castle? You’re going to like your wing and---”

She pulled away from him and groaned. Maybe he wasn’t grocking the ‘no bribery rule’ as well as she thought. “Sure that, um, sounds nice, but remember this: you’re enough for this family, okay?”

He paused then and quirked his head at her. “I don’t understand.”

Of course, he didn’t, but she’d make sure he did.

“Come on, show me the works, friend. I’m sure it’s great.”

“Oh, you’ve no idea. See I found this contractor who was able to put in quite the cinema viewing room and---"

Chloe chuckled sweetly as he led her into the castle (nope still weird). The Devil was trying so very hard, and for now, she was happy to be there for her friend, even if she wasn’t going to let him keep buying his was into forgiveness. He just…with patience, he’d understand that nothing he could do would get him thrown out of this weird little family of theirs. It would take time, of course. But Chloe Decker was up for the challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that the basic foundation has been laid, I will probably add stories out of chronological order and just with whatever idea from Trixie/Penelope's childhood strikes my mood. Albeit, I feel next time up later in July will be her first birthday. 
> 
> Because, man, that'll be so extra from Lucifer...  
> ____
> 
> Also, this is Dracula's castle, if you're curious: https://www.travelandleisure.com/attractions/landmarks-monuments/dracula-castle-for-sale


End file.
